Do Not Let The Pain Win

Written by Kathleen Fechter for the RSDSA blog.

Kathleen Fechter CRPS RSDSAHow and when did you develop CRPS/RSD?

I hurt my knee at work and my CRPS developed from that injury about 5-6 years ago. I was misdiagnosed about three times.

What has daily life been like since your diagnosis?

Everyday was limited, I could not walk to the mailbox on my own, and if I did it was a good day. My husband and I could not really enjoy our time as newlyweds because each day was based on my pain levels and what I could handle before needing to go back home. I was able to hold a job, but I was usually on strong pain meds until they did not really work for me anymore. More than half the time I wanted to crawl out of my skin.

What is one thing you wish those without CRPS/RSD could understand?

I wish people would try to be more empathic and realize that this kind of pain is nothing to wish on anyone. I still do not think my friends, the ones who are suppose to be supportive, really appreciate what I went/am still going through to get my life back.

What advice would you give to newly diagnosed Warriors?

Do not be afraid to ask hard questions and think outside the box when it comes to doctors and treatments. Keep stress levels as low as you can, control what you can, let go of what you cannot. Get to know your body again. Do not be afraid to advocate for yourself.

Make yourself a “therapy corner”: a place for a warrior to distress, keep a heating pad nearby, a favorite blanket, etc. Basically all the things that bring you comfort on the really bad days.

What advice would you give to Warriors who have had CRPS/RSD for many years?

Do not give up, as impossible as it may seem, do not let the pain win. I let it control my life for too long. I had to find a way to motivate myself to take back my body and not let the pain ruin me. One may never be the person they once were, but there will be a new found strength and better life ahead.

What activities or treatments have helped you find temporary or long term relief?

I have been in remission since January because of Dr. Damon Orlando. I received The Calmare (aka the scrambler) Treatment and have been pain free since with few “flare scares” since. I also changed my diet to watch out for foods that would be more inflammatory. I now take the train and walk to work. In fact I now walk about two miles a day. I have been able to stretch and do normal household chores without it knocking the wind out of me.

What else would you like to add?

This website I made has been the only place I can put into words what living with CRPS is like: kathleenpadilla89.wixsite.com/takingbackcontrol

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Nicole Shelton Refuses To Give Up Her Life For CRPS

Written by Nicole C. Shelton, J.D. for the RSDSA blog.

Nicole Shelton JD CRPS RSDSA

How/when did you develop CRPS/RSD?

In 1990, at the age of 15, I went in for what should have been a routine arthroscopic knee surgery to repair a torn meniscus. When I went in for my two day post-op appointment, the area below my left knee, literally the entire leg, foot, etc., was ice cold, swollen and shiny. At that point in time, RSD was not well known (I think the statistic I was given was that I was one in 500,000). But, my surgeon as a kick-butt surgeon who just a few days before surgery read an article on this new phenomena.

He explained that the nerves in my knee were telling my brain that anything below my knee essentially didn’t exist. While that may have been a reasonable explanation at the time, we know a lot more now! My recovery should have been six weeks; but, due to the RSD, it was six months. I was put on Procardia since they thought a blood thinner would help but we really didn’t know how to address the pain, swelling, redness and shininess.

Even though my surgeon’s explanation and treatment of the RSD was not what we do now, I am forever grateful to him for having read that article about this “new” phenomena. I would have been misdiagnosed and likely lost my leg below the knee. I’m relieved that now it is unusual to find a doctor who doesn’t know about CRPS. An ER doctor friend of mine said CRPS is part of one of their rotations in med school. We have to have medical providers that understand CRPS/RSD is real, how to treat it as best they can, and how to be empathetic to the Warriors who are plagued by it.

 

What has daily life been like since your diagnosis?

So, I have to frontload the readers that my CRPS/RSD is not like most of what they are probably experiencing. For me, RSD still is the more accurate description of what I experience: my pain flare ups and cycles are a response to an injury, not something chronic. I attended a CRPS fundraiser in NYC a few years back and was shocked by how impacted some people are by their CRPS. I do not know if anyone else experiences RSD as comparatively mildly as I do (I certainly haven’t met anyone yet!) but I hope if others like me are out there, this helps!

Up until a couple years ago, my RSD has only occurred when I have an injury: a sprain, a broken toe, torn ligaments (hey, I refuse to let go of my active lifestyle so injuries happen!). I have had 5 surgeries in my life, all due to injuries not the RSD, and am absolutely vocal about my RSD. I make sure surgeons are fluent in CRPS/RSD and have now learned that nerve blocks prior to surgery really help. I can always tell when I have an injury that needs rest or attention because I feel that high level of pain, the swelling is disproportionate and the area gets shiny. My flare ups have tended to be intense but brief, and only in the area around the injured body part. And yes, they are like fire: sometimes smoldering embers, sometimes firestorms, it just depends on the day. There’s no rhyme or reason to how it presents nor how long it lasts.

As I get older, I do wonder if my RSD is evolving. Two years ago, I fell down a couple marble stairs (don’t do it!!). Most of the injuries have resolved, but I still have an ECU subsheath dislocation and tear in my left wrist, and now also have ulnar nerve slowing at the elbow and wrist. On two occasions since the injury, I have had debilitating all-over body pain: the first lasting a couple hours, the second lasting six hours and almost prompting an ER visit. I literally could not move because of the pain and nothing helped: I was terrified.

Thankfully, that has not happened since. However, my wrist and ulnar nerve injuries have created a “new normal” in that my wrist is constantly at a level 5 pain, and the ulnar nerve varies between a constant 5-7. Am I happy about this new normal? Heck no! After a lot of mental fighting of this new pronouncement, I decided that it was not doing me any good to hold on to the anger of the new normal (although I still occasionally have a mental, “Says who?!”). I continue to do my normal activities, but I know there is a price to pay: I will inevitably have a pain flare up that will last anywhere from a couple hours to a couple weeks, depending on the activity.

And while I feel guilty saying this for all the other Warriors that are so much more impacted than I am by this horrible thing: I refuse to give up my life for this pain. It does not own me. It doesn’t get to control me. And I will fight it tooth and nail (and have been known to give it an obscene gesture). I absolutely realize that I am so, so lucky to have such a mild form of RSD. And I absolutely give shout outs to the Universe asking it to not have my RSD morph into something worse. It is the one thing I fear most in this life.

 

What is one thing you wish those without CRPS/RSD could understand?

So I am going to change this one a little bit… The one thing that drives me CRAZY is when you go into a doctor’s office, urgent care or ER and they ask the inevitable question: “So what’s your pain level like on a scale of 1-10?” (yep, I just felt all of you cringe). My answer, because after all I’m there because of an injury or flare up, is “10” or “10+”.

At this point, they already know I have CRPS/RSD so what follows should not ever happen. The NP, LVN or (worse yet, especially in the ER!) doctor inevitably says, “Well you can’t be a 10 or you wouldn’t be able to talk to me” or “you would be writhing in pain.” It is all I can do not to scream, “Pain is my everyday so how would you know how I’m experiencing it?!” (yep, I can see Warrior heads nodding).

Let’s face it, Warriors, this is our least favorite question because, guess what? Pain is relative, especially to the Warrior. We experience pain differently (hello, regional pain syndrome). But we have pain in the extreme if we are going to the doctor about it. Or, as I have had happen, we have had moderate levels of pain for such a prolonged period of time, that we are just exhausted.

So for any physicians or medical practitioner reading this, if you must ask me the dreaded question, please accept my answer. Do not negate it because you have been taught that a 10 is impossible unless the patient is babbling incoherently or writhing on the floor. My pain is real. I’m not making it up because I like going in to the doctor’s office. I need your help. I need your compassion. I need your empathy. I do not need to be dismissed or diminished because you do not experience pain like I do.

 

What advice would you give to newly diagnosed Warriors?

It is not your fault. It is not just you. Do not read the blogs (sorry!) and do not go searching the internet, not yet. I joined a local Facebook Warriors group and was both humbled and terrified by what others were going through because it is not my experience. You will read things that will absolutely be your experience, but you will read things that may frighten you right now. And you just do not need it: this is a scary enough diagnosis by itself. Just give yourself time to learn about your CRPS/RSD experience.

You absolutely must be your own advocate. You have to be vocal, pushy and sometimes downright hostile. I went in for an ankle reconstruction surgery and put a stop to the whole pre-surgery procedures (as in literally the ones where I was all gowned up, they were about to do the nerve block) because the anesthesiologist was just running through her checklist. I was a medical record number, not a patient, and there was no way in hell I was going to let her do anything to me until she saw me as a person, as someone she could do serious harm to if she did not hear me about the RSD.

If you have a medical practitioner who does not see you as a person or blows off your CRPS, find another. Keep searching until you find the right match for you. I would far rather delay my care to find someone who is going to listen to what I am saying about my RSD than to be even worse off with someone who does not.

Telling others about your experience is hard, not because of what you’re going through, but because people may think you’re crazy. If you say you have nerve pain, people think of Fibromyalgia because of all the ads they see on TV. They do not understand that nerve pain is not normal pain and that it does not just go away when you take a pain med. So for this I say be patient. Keep trying to help them understand. And honestly, those friends who do not get it are the ones I just do not talk about my RSD with. It isn’t that they are trying to be naïve, they just do not get it. And that is okay.

My mom has been with me through all of this, from 15 when I was diagnosed to now at age 45 (wow, 30 years ago!). She still does not “get” it, but she is not one to judge. She listens, she’s empathetic. And, yes, sometimes she tells me to just suck it up and get over it, but it is usually when I need to get out of my RSD pity party and get back to living me life. 🙂

 

What activities/treatments have helped you find temporary/long term relief?

So, again, my RSD is different than most. I have not met anyone else with RSD like mine in a mild form. A TENS unit will help with the severity of a flare up, but is not a long term solution. It just makes it more manageable. Acupuncture is the only thing that consistently works to decrease both the level of pain and (more importantly to me) the duration of the pain cycle. I do have to have it every week, though, in order to keep the benefits. This is not always realistic, though, with work schedules and life, but it definitely helps. Pain meds do not help, though.

 

What else would you like to add?

My heart goes out to all the Warriors. You are amazing and loved. Even though I know it seems grim, please don’t give up.

We Bleed Orange Together and Will Quench the Fire!

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Connie France is Still Here and Still Fighting CRPS

Written by Connie France for the RSDSA blog.

 

Connie France RSDSA CRPSIn 2016, my father was in his third stage of Alzheimer’s. He was coming out of a truck, but just a little too fast, and I went to grab him so he would not hit the concrete. At that moment I knew I had done something to my back. After getting the test results saying that I ruptured four discs in the lower part of my back, they started therapy and injection. Since nothing was helping after all failed attempts, my doctor said, “You are going to have to have surgery.” I was very reluctant to do the surgery, but he explained to me that it was a very simple procedure.
On December 24th, 2016 I decided that Christmas was going to be a little different and I prayed for a Christmas miracle. I had back surgery that day, but it was short of a miracle. I returned to my room after surgery and I called for a nurse because I wanted to go to the bathroom. It was taking the nurses forever to come, so I decided that I was going to just get up and go, but when I tried to get up I went to the floor. I could not feel my left leg and partial right leg. The nurse came in and hollered for another nurse to help me get back into bed.

My nightmare started from there. For three months I was in a wheelchair and started using a walker. I took seven falls from just learning to use my legs, but I knew something was different as the pain was worse than the original pain as my daughter noticed my back was a reddish purple color. I was getting weaker, and I just did not understand what was going on. My doctor’s did more injections that were so unbearable and I finally said no more. My left leg started swelling and changing colors and in March of 2017 my spine doctor looked at my back and my leg. He left the room and came back in and said your have a disease called RSD/CRPS. He then gave me some information and told me to read it and for me to start looking for a pain doctor because he did not know enough about the disease to treat it. At that moment all I wanted to do was cry. He stated that there was no cure.

Connie France CRPS RSDSA Daughter Granddaughter
Connie’s daughter, Cylea, and granddaughter, Amorie
After doing the injections, even though I told them it was too much, they decided in July of 2017 to place a spinal cord stimulator in my back. It only gave me 50% relief. I of course wish it did more as my daughter spent every day and every night helping, pushing, and encouraging me by saying that every step is an improvement. My grandchildren helped me in ways that perhaps they may not understand, but just seeing their faces laughing and smiling brought joy back, even though they see that grandma was different and she does not run, dance, or go hiking. But I am still here and I will keep fighting until they find a cure.
This disease is life-changing, and without the support of family and friends, I am not sure the outcome of going through this alone. At one point I wanted to give up, but they were not going to let me. I am just limited on how much I do because of the pain.
What others need to know is that this is a secret disease that no one can understand unless you have it or a loved one that has it, because our pain is inside. Yes some days I may have someone come up and say to me, “you are having a bad day today I can see it in your face,” but it is really rare because we tend to wear a smile on our face regardless and behind closed doors we cry ourselves to sleep because we now have limited options with doctors not wanting to give pain medication.
I believe a lot of RSD patients are lacking the help we need to fight this horrible disease. Even though it has been two years and eight months, my life and everything I do has changed. My enjoyment is watching movies with my grandchildren and listening to music. I cannot go shopping like I used to due to the pain and it seems like the more pain I am in, the more the sweats come on.
Connie France RSDSA CRPS Grandchildren
Connie’s grandchildren Adrianna, Adrian, Rilynn, and Amorie
I still go to work daily, but it is such a huge battle to get up and get dressed. I still cannot feel most of my left leg and for the last seven months the pain has moved into my right leg. I have burning, throbbing, and sharp tingling pains so I use heat on my legs and put a fan pointing on the bottom of my feet due to the burning. I have to be careful with certain clothes as some material bothers my skin more than others and trying to put pants on by myself is a battle in itself because of the mobility that I have lost. Sometimes I still need help with daily things that I just cannot do, but I have not given up. I just wish doctors would take this disease more serious than they do.
For the Warriors who have had this longer than I have, all I can say is God bless you all and that I hope you have found great doctors with great help because just two years in, I cannot imagine five or ten years with this disease. You are the true troopers, because I know what my life is like and how much of my life has changed for me in such a short time.
I have found a pain doctor but he is still limited in what he does, so in some sense I am grateful, but then I wish he could do more and maybe someday doctors will understand that this disease is so hard to live with that there has to be more they can do. I want everyone who has this disease to rise up and fight so our voices can be heard and our pain can be felt and that others with or without will help find a cure so no others have to live with this horrible disease.

 

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Don’t Abandon Your Loved Ones With CRPS

Written by Jeff Schwartz for the RSDSA blog.

Jeff Schwartz CRPS RSDSAHow and when did you develop CRPS/RSD?

I do not have CRPS, but my wife battles it. She was diagnosed 2015, but had been battling it beforehand. We believe it resulted from an injury in 2003.

What has daily life been like since your diagnosis?

As her caregiver, it has been difficult. I have watched this vibrant woman who enjoyed doing things spend days in bed, trying to overcome tremendous pain. When there is a “good” day, we try to make the most of it. We have a saying that works for us: One day at a time.  

What is one thing you wish those without CRPS/RSD could understand?

This is an invisible disease most of the medical community doesn’t understand. The Pain Warrior is not faking, is not lazy, is not seeking attention and is not mentally ill. This is a real physical disease that desperately needs to be cured.

Do not abandon your loved ones. This is not a cakewalk but if you love them, truly love them, you will be there for them.

What advice would you give to newly diagnosed Warriors?

Do not give up. You never know what tomorrow brings. You are not alone.

Anything else you would like to add?

My wife tells me I am sometimes a bigger advocate than she is. I use what opportunities and resources I have to bring awareness to others.

As an example, I am a well-known whiskey reviewer, and five years ago I created a #30DaysofBourbon Challenge that runs every September for Bourbon Heritage Month. There are thousands of participants and it continues to grow each year. I use this Challenge, where I post daily on Facebook and Instagram, to give a shoutout to the RSDSA and suggest participants donate $30 or more to a charity of their choosing (with a suggestion for the RSDSA).

It is my deepest hope that one day, there will be a cure, and will be generic enough to help everyone battling RSD/CRPS.

Please consider making a donation to RSDSA today!

Emily Baddorf’s CRPS Journey

Written by Emily Baddorf for the RSDSA blog.

Emily Baddorf CRPS RSDSAHow and when did you develop CRPS/RSD?
I developed RSD at the age of 15 following a sprained ankle. The injury did not even hurt at the time and I continued the tennis lesson I was in the middle of. About 24 hours later, my ankle was swollen and was black/blue/purple. The pain was unbearable and I could not walk on it.
What has daily life been like since your diagnosis?
Life has had constant ups and downs since that day. I have had extremely low moments; being told I would never walk again, experiencing depression severe enough that it caused me to attempt suicide, numerous surgeries and being completely isolated from friends and family. The highs; overcoming the doctor’s prognosis and eventually learning how to walk again, being able to get a wonderful job, meeting and marrying my incredible husband and, despite the RSD, successfully carrying and delivering our amazing baby boy!
What is one thing you wish those without CRPS/RSD could understand?
I wish people without RSD would understand the power of their words. I wish they knew how it can absolutely break a person with RSD to be told that we are crazy, that we are making it up, that it’s all in our heads, etc. I wish doctors and nurses would treat us like humans who are suffering, not like drug addicts. I wish people would understand that we did not choose this and that we are not “doing” this to get out of work, school, etc. We would do anything to stop the burning/stabbing/ice cold/crushing/searing pain but we simply cannot. What we need is love, support, understanding, compassion and acceptance.
 
What advice would you give to newly diagnosed Warriors?
Reach out, ASAP. Do not believe the ones who have already told you that you are crazy because you are not. Find support! Try to find a group that you can connect with, either in person or online. Remember to breathe, the journey ahead isn’t going to be easy but you can do it!
What activities or treatments have helped you find temporary or long term relief?
I’ve had relief from several spinal cord stimulators, an implanted pain pump with various medications and some oral meds. Water and heat are a big help, also. Water therapy did tremendous things for my RSD during my pregnancy and gave me the most relief during that time when I was unable to take oral meds.

Please consider making a donation to RSDSA today!

Don’t Give Up on Me

Written by Shannon Schildt-Leidig for the RSDSA blog.

Shannon Schildt-Leidig CRPS RSDSAAnyone who knows me knows what a huge lover of music I am – and that any time I am in the car it is either on the Broadway or Classical channels; though, when it is football season I tend to listen to ESPN. However, there was a day when I was in the car and the programming on the channels I normally listen to did not fly so I turned to a local radio station and I heard this upbeat song and I liked it (major rarity!) – but I did not find the name of it – so after I got home I went to my friend Google and looked up the radio station’s playlist and found the song and immediately went to iTunes and found the song – and oh my gosh it was the perfect tune if ever I have heard one – “Don’t Give Up on Me” by Andy Grammer from the movie Five Feet Apart. This song packs such a powerful punch that we should not give up ~ no matter what we are going thru, in the good days, bad days, storms with raging winds and pounding rain to windy biting cold days with snow coming at you, days when you literally do not know where to go or who to turn to – and you feel like giving up, don’t – as there is always someone to stand by you and help pick you up and fight your battles with you!

I can honestly say that in my almost 30-year battle with this beast known as RSD, now known as CRPS, the past two years have been pure HELL – no other way to say it or to describe it.  The days become nights and nights become days ~ I have no idea how to navigate this course of life anymore as my life as I knew it has been turned upside down and inside out – with so many twists and curves along the way – I literally feel as though I fell down a rabbit hole while on the way to a tea party and got caught up in an eye of a hurricane not knowing if I was going to come out. I feel so bad for my parents and sister and those friends who have stuck by me as nobody knows what to say or how to be. There were many days I wanted to GIVE UP. My parents and sister would not let me nor would some very special people in my life like my dear friend Marilyn and her husband Bill and my amazingly wonderful friend Laura. These folks have stood by me through thick and thin, wind and rain, and through fiery hellish nights. They would not allow me to give up. And why? They know what it is like to battle and fight, as they have had their own share of medical battles, but they fought their way through the dark times and helped me fight too.

I will never forget the night I met Marilyn as my church choir was getting ready to warm up for their Christmas cantata and a member came to me and said he had a friend who had the same condition I had. I was like knock me over with a feather – really?!  So prior to warming up the choir we talked and I said that I would be willing to do anything to help them battle this beast. That night began a 13-year friendship with Marilyn and her husband Bill. When they say they get it and understand they mean it as they are going through this same RSD storm. We talked by email and phone and then Facebook though never meeting each other face-to-face until a few weeks ago. It was truly an extra special day when we finally met as we have walked the RSD journey together. They have such a special place in my life and in my heart.

Another special person who has weathered her own share of storms is my good friend Laura. We worked together and it was so good knowing there was someone at work who knew what it was like to have a chronic condition and how there are times you have to adapt to life rather than life adapting to you, knowing you want to be with people your own age and being out; however, your body betrays you and keeps you from doing all that you want to do. You literally become a prisoner of your own body. My latest saying is, “my head may say go, but my body says no”. Laura gets that and understands all too well as she has been battling diabetes for years and has had a kidney/pancreas transplant. Laura gets it though and has always stood by me, even though there is a distance in miles there is no distance in our friendship. We pick each other up when we are down as we truly get it!

I am thankful and blessed to have my parents and sister in my life. I am also very blessed to have many people in my life who have stood by and helped me. Laura as well as Bill and Marilyn have stood by my side and have not let me give up, and that is a huge part of the battle.  When you feel like giving up, listen and sing out loud to the song by Andy Grammar and take the words to heart!

“Don’t Give Up on Me”

And I will hold, I’ll hold onto you
No matter what this world will throw
It won’t shake me loose

I’ll reach my hands out in the dark and
Wait for yours to interlock
I’ll wait for you, I’ll wait for you

‘Cause I’m not givin’ up
I’m not givin’ up, givin’ up, no, not yet (Not yet)
Even when I’m down on my last breath (Last breath)
Even when they say there’s nothin’ left (Nothin’ left)
So don’t give up on
I’m not givin’ up
I’m not givin’ up, givin’ up, no, not me (Not me)
Even when nobody else believes (Believes)
I’m not goin’ down that easily
So don’t give up on me

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Never Give Up On Yourself

Written by Julie Manni for the RSDSA blog.

How and when did you develop CRPS/RSD?

My journey with CRPS/RSD started in the fall of 2001 when I was 12 years old. I developed a gastric stomach ulcer and while I was on bed rest to heal the ulcer, I developed this severe aching crushing pain in both my legs. Six months later I was diagnosed with CRPS/RSD. The pain started in my legs but over the years spread to my entire body.

What has daily life been like since your diagnosis?

Daily life has been kind of a roller coaster over the past 18 years. I have had many debilitating years and many functional years. I have had times where my pain was able to go into remission. It was still there, but no where near as bad and I could hold down a job and some what of a life. I have had many years of struggles and devastation where my life was taken over and controlled by my pain. CRPS/RSD puts a lot of limits on my life and controls what I do, but I try my hardest to do the things that make me happy and live my life the way I want it the best I can.

Julie Rose RSDSA CRPS

What is one thing you wish those without CRPS/RSD could understand?

Just because I am not crying or telling you how bad my pain is, does not mean it is not killing me. When you live with pain for so long, it becomes something that is part of you. It becomes your everyday life and never goes away. You kind of accept that you are going to be in pain forever and try your best to tolerate it. People unfortunately take the silence as you’re not in pain anymore and think it is gone until it gets so bad that you cry or react. But in reality, we are struggling every second of every day. Therefore, I would like more awareness of CRPS/RSD so people can understand the intensity of our situations and be more understanding and tolerant.

What advice would you give to newly diagnosed Warriors?

Life with CRPS/RSD is a difficult one. It can be full of hard challenges and struggles most people do not face. It will change your life, but it can also create positive things. Living with any kind of illness makes you mentally strong because you have to deal with struggles most people do not have to and it makes you grow and mature as a person. It gives you a sense of empathy and compassion to help others.

Also, remember to be your own advocate. Speak up to your doctors as much as possible and tell them exactly how you feel. The more information you give, the more it helps them. You are the only one who feels your pain.

What advice would you give to Warriors who have had CRPS/RSD for many years?

Never give up. Never stop trying new therapists and treatments. Try your best to keep an open mind and stay as positive as possible. Never settle for a doctor that you do not connect with or one you disagree with their treatment plan. You will eventually find the right one, but it may take a few tries.

Additionally, never give up on yourself. People might doubt you, but you know your body and pain better than anyone else and you deserve to get relief.

While CRPS/RSD has caused me a life of pain and struggles, it has also made me a compassionate and mature person. It has taught me to advocate for myself and to always have hope that things will get better. Never give up on yourself.

Please consider making a donation to RSDSA today!

Every Person Is Fighting a Battle We Know Nothing About

Written by Abigail Bourcy for the RSDSA blog.

Abigail Bourcy RSDSA CRPSHow and when did you develop CRPS/RSD?

My name is Abigail I developed Complex Regional Pain Syndrome when I was 12 (10 years ago). I broke my fibula playing soccer and was put in a boot for six weeks. Doctors assumed it was a simple break, but after six weeks in a boot I was still refusing to put weight on it and complaining of tingling sensations. My mom and I went to every doctor we could find in the Northeast area; it took months to get a doctor to believe me. Finally, we visited an orthopedic physician assistant who within minutes of looking at my symptoms, knew it was CRPS.

However, my story did not end there. After seven months of aggressive physical and occupational therapy I was lucky enough to be declared in remission. I stopped all medications, physical and occupational therapy, and the millions of doctor’s appointments. For a while, I was a healthy normal kid again. 1.5 years later, I started experiencing pain again. A year of hundreds of doctor’s appointments later, I ended up at Boston Children’s Hospital where I was re-diagnosed with CRPS, and told in no uncertain terms, I would have it for life.

 

What has daily life been like since your diagnosis?

I am not going to sugarcoat it for anyone: Daily life is hard. Being a teenager is hard enough without a rare chronic pain condition. I have to choose each and every day what I can accomplish that day and what I have the energy, time, and physical ability to get through. For someone who has always been extremely active and social their whole lives, that was the hardest part for me. I have learned to accept that although I am 22 years old, there are many things I cannot do because of this condition. However, there are many blessings I have gained and lessons I have learned from this condition. I now have the ability and perspective to always know what is important in life, to never sweat the small stuff, and to fully appreciate the people that truly understand you and accept you CRPS and all.

I am currently in graduate school, working towards getting my master’s degree in school psychology. Due to this condition, I now know that every person is fighting a battle we know nothing about, to never judge, and to try to approach each situation without kindness. I’m excited to be able to be an advocate for struggling children, especially those with chronic pain and illness fighting their way through the public-school system, just like I did.

 

What is one thing you wish those without CRPS/RSD could understand?

I wish more people would ask me about it! Many friends and family members avoid the topic due to lack of knowledge, being uncomfortable, or fear of hurting my feelings. However, that couldn’t be farther from the truth! The more conversations we have help spread support, awareness, and acceptance for this rare condition. By ignoring my condition, in some ways it feels like belittling the battle I’ve been fighting for more than half of my life now. Asking questions is how we all learn and raise awareness for this rare condition.

 

What advice would you give to newly diagnosed Warriors?

Be honest. Never hide your condition, pain, or emotions. I spent all of my teenage years with CRPS, and spent most of that time I was hiding my symptoms, my pain, and my story. What I did not realize is that my story was one of the most powerful things I have. I am so much stronger because of my story and my pain. Be confident in yourself, your symptoms, and asking for help when you need it.

 

What advice would you give to Warriors who have had CRPS/RSD for many years?

A daily gratitude journal is something I started months ago and I would highly suggest for any CRPS/RSD warrior. Each day when I go to bed I write as many things as a I can that brought me joy. It can be as simple as beautiful weather. With CRPS, I have found it is very easy to become negative and hopeless. However, if you remind yourself daily about the things you are lucky to have and be able to experience, it sometimes can change your whole perspective for the better.

 

What activities or treatments have helped you find temporary or long-term relief?

Working with a clinical psychologist has been the best thing I have ever done for my treatment. I have held onto a lot of anger my whole life. Some of it was due to being diagnosed so young, for going into remission once and losing it, and for sitting out of many of the activities I once loved. Talking to a clinical psychologist allowed me to let go of that anger, and that on its own, has been the most important part of my recovery.

 

What else would you like to add?

Always ask for help. We are fighting a battle most could never even begin to wrap their heads around, there is no shame in admitting when you need help, it only helps you grow stronger.

 

Please consider making a donation to RSDSA today!

Elizabeth Kiss Speaks on Why CRPS Warriors Can’t Give Up

Written by Elizabeth Kiss for the RSDSA blog.
Elizabeth Kiss CRPS RSDSA
My name is Liz. I live in Alaska and I am 50 years old.
I was diagnosed with CRPS in late 2015 after I attended my brothers wedding in Minnesota.  I honestly do know what happened other than the next day I woke up and my right ankle and foot were swollen up like balloons and it was very painful. When we got home, I went to my doctor who sent me to an orthopedic foot surgeon who did x0rays and could find nothing wrong. I was then sent to a spine specialist who did x-rays on my lower spine and also an MRI. She then sent me to a pain doctor for an EMG. After that, I finally a diagnosis! I looked at her funny when she told me I had CRPS. It sounded like some crazy infection you would get from swimming in an infectious lake in the deep deep south lol.
Then it was explained to me and of course I did my own research. I cried for days. I thought, “I have to live with this for the rest of my life? Really?”
The pain was relentless. Absolutely nothing the doctor told me to do helped, so he started putting me on medication.  Since then I have been on Gabapentin, Percocet, and muscle relaxers. You name it, I’m on it.  It truly does help. But this disease rapidly spread to my leg and then my whole left side in about six months. It also spread to my upper extremities. For some reason, that pain doctor released me from his care. I honestly do not know why. My new pain doctor cannot even find out. It’s kinda weird.
So here I am now. I have been fighting disability for years, which is another story that I would love to tell if anyone is interested.
To make things even better, this past July I fell and broke my left hip and had to have a total hip replacement. Talk about spreading worse within a matter of days!
What we have to realize is that we can not give up! We can and WILL survive with the support of each other and our stories. We are not alone.
It hurts so bad when people who do not understand the disease, and do not want to research it, give us advise on how to cope. Really? Walk in our shoes for a day. I dare you.
You know what else gets me?  I hear, I know how you feel, my (insert body part here) all the time.  Or being called an addict! WE ARE NOT ADDICTS! We have very real relentless pain that will not go away, ever!
The only thing I have found that truly helps my pain is being in a pool whether I am swimming or walking. It is temporary relief, but it does help. Of course here in Alaska, we do not have too many pools and driving is a big no for me. I do it only when I have no other option, but it is scary. I’m always thinking about what would happen if I get another stabbing pain when my foot is on the gas or brake?
I have two beautiful grandchildren that I can not play with or take to the park and it breaks my heart.  I have lost so many friends who just do not want to deal or hear about it. People just don’t get it.

Please consider making a donation to RSDSA today!

Kelly Clendenning on Why CRPS Warriors Need Allies

Written by Kelly Clendenning for the RSDSA blog.

How and when did you develop CRPS/RSD?Kelly Clendenning daughter CRPS RSDSA

The how is hard to determine as my first mini stroke and seizure happened in 2007 when I was 20 years old. At the time, the pain started in my spine. 12 years later, it is now in my entire right side, face, chest, and left hand. At this juncture, we do not know what caused it, but it is possible the TIA (transient ischemic attack) and seizure triggered it. I was diagnosed in 2015 after seven years of trying to get a diagnosis and treatment and well over 50 various doctors. My daughter was seven months old.

What has daily life been like since your diagnosis?

After so long, what should be abnormal is no longer strange. In the morning, I wake up and determine if I need my cane or not. I take my medicines and get my daughter ready for school if it is a weekday. Compartmentalizing pain and keeping my face blank is no longer a conscious thought as I see friends, family, and stranger alike as I give my daughter a final kiss before going home to work.

I cannot work out of my home anymore. In fact, I cannot exercise anymore due to the risks it poses to my body. I determine after work what I can do based on the amount of pain I am in. Sometimes I can manage to do dinner and two chores, but most often it is one with frequent rests.

Sleep is fractious. In fact I can count on one hand the times I have had an uninterrupted night of sleep in 12 years. A sleep study done while undiagnosed reveals I wake up every nine mins. While pain management has helped this to where I may get two to four hrs of straight sleep, it is nothing like before.

Kelly Clendenning family CRPS RSDSAEvery day is a determination of what can I do. What priority is there I must meet. With a young daughter and husband, as well as a job, you can imagine that my own rest is one I usually push to the side as much as my body allows…. despite my husband’s wishes otherwise.

What is one thing you wish those without CRPS/RSD could understand?

We, especially those of us who have had it for years, physiologically will not express intense pain the same way you will. Our bodies have protected itself so that it does not literally break with the stress. Our blood pressure may not go up, we may not cry or tear up, we may not sweat or only sweat on our affected limbs, and we are very, very sick.

We need allies. One in ten doctors or medical professionals I have met over the years even knows what it is… and therefore we have very few who believe us. Stand by us. Because this illness may not seem as dangerous as cancer, but it can be just as fatal.

What advice would you give to newly diagnosed Warriors?

Do not take the long view right away. For many of us, we will not stay in remission so it can be easy to think “what happens in 30 years?,” focus on today. Let it be enough.

Do not beat yourself up when you cannot do things you think you should. Accept help.

Do not give up. Do not stop fighting for treatment or to be heard.

Most important? You are never, ever alone.

What advice would you give to Warriors who have had CRPS/RSD for many years?

Remember that this illness can flare up or outwit or outdo even the best of coping tools and treatments. Do not be afraid to cry to a friend and don’t be afraid to talk your doctor if it is time to do something new. And as a reminder, while this may be so rare, we are not alone. We are not alone in this illness or the chronic pain and illness community.

What activities or treatments have helped you find temporary or long term relief?

Treatments are currently an all around approach from herbal like non-THC CBD oil to pharmaceutical-like fentanyl and gabapentin to spiritual like prayer and a relationship with God.

For me, I also find playing video games, reading, playing piano, writing, and other distraction activities during a flare are helpful when I have the energy.

I imagine my toolbox of what works will change and keep changing as time goes on.Kelly Clendenning happy daughter CRPS RSDSA

What else would you like to add?

This illness is extremely isolating because of its lack of knowledge in the medical community to its misunderstood severity among layperson.

If we are going to really find hope, we need go start with gaining allies who are ot afraid to help those of us with this. We need allies in neurology, rheumatology, emergency care when pain hits a 10 and medicine is not working, therapists skilled in mental health with acute chronic pain involved, physical therapists, pain management, dentists, anesthesiologists, research, pharma and natural medicine, nutrition, spiritual leaders, and more. We are dying because the help is too few or non-existent. If you are an able-bodied person, then please consider this a call to action. Educate yourself and for the love of the sick, help us.

If you have been undiagnosed and still are not getting answers, do not give up. I went to over 50 specialists including an Emory teaching hospital in Atlanta (which was by far the worst experience), and well over 30 other types of professionals in seven years. I was having three to six appointments a week at one point for tests and telling doctors that I was not making it up at 20 years of age.

Do not let them tell you it is not real or is not as strong in pain as you say it is. Do not be afraid to talk to someone else, educate yourself and above all advocate for yourself. Get family and friends involved. Get that answers and fight like the pain warrior you are.

Please consider making a donation to RSDSA today!